Lissa Has Joanna Lumley (Nikki) Battered and Burned

Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2004 07:48:17 +1100 (EST)
From: "Nikkohlina" nikkohlina@yahoo.com.au
Subject: Good Evening
To: @yahoo.com
Dearest XXXX
No, I wasn't fishing for information at all. I'm sorry that happened to you, but again, I wasn't asking for information. One thing I am not, is nosy.
You don't think that maybe at times Max looks at me and thinks things about me? When he comes across the scarring on my lower back, the cigarette burns on my inner thigh or the newer ones on my breast, you don't think he is disgusted by me and what I did? I worry that he does--that sometimes in his eyes I am cheap used goods. I mean, that is a physical reminder that he can see--not just my thoughts that I can keep deep inside. Do you think men can think that way?
I have another rehearsal this morning then a brief on Friday morning and another brief one Saturday morning, then that is it--it is all over. It's easy because we all know the music--they are Christmas carols after all, and we've all played them a million times before.
We had a horrific storm here yesterday in the late afternoon--hailstones, thunder, lightning--the works. At the Manly marina, boats were tossed like toys, some landing on top of each other. Our sailboat was tossed, but Jules and I checked the moorings to make sure it was secure, and luckily it wasn't damaged.
Maybe you would like to catch up Wednesday evening your time again?
I was going to ring you, but in all honesty, in my present emotional state, I couldn't possibly. I don't even really want to speak to Liv at the moment. I hope you understand because I know I said I would ring once a week. Maybe next week, no?
I hope you have a quiet evening. I will go have my coffee with Max now.
I will email again later.
Affectueusement
Nikki

Lissa Daly And Her Sick Fantasy Continues

Dearest XXXXX
First off, you haven't ruined my holiday. I do a perfectly good job of that myself. I don't need anyone else's help in that department.
As for you wanting to hear every detail of my holiday? To be honest, I don't think you do.On looking back, your earlier emails fairly vibrated with just the opposite.I just blindly didn't see it, caught in my selfish little world. And who can blame you? Here is me--the pampered stupid idiot woman who never seems to have to lift a finger, has no children to deal with 24/7 and isn't even working, and she is on some luxury holiday that she didn't in any way shape or form earn.
So I've been ill--big deal. So I have been diagnosed with a terminal illness--big deal. That alone doesn't earn a vacation. MAX on the other hand works hard at work, then comes home and works at keeping my head above water. HE deserves a holiday. I am nothing more than a tagalong, really.Riding his coat tails. I am a kept woman--no doubt about it. Kept like a mistress in jewellery and vacations. Great sex is a bonus, yes, but really I probably owe him at least that much.
I"m having troubles holding my head up today because I feel such a deep shame. In order to really enjoy a vacation, one has to earn it. You know, they say $1000 can rebuild someone's home in that tsunami devastated area. How many homes could have been built with this money we are blowing on a vacation? A little child from my life was taken at such a young age yet I am still here. It doesn't seem fair. I will be gone in a decade anyway. She had her entire life ahead of her.
You have nothing to apologise for, cherie. Everything is my own doing.Everything. I am not attention seeking so don't think that. I'm not mooning around in a deep funk. I'm just seeking some solitude today, trying not to upset Max as I do so. I won't ruin his holiday.
Well I am going to close for now. I will email later, and if not, in the morning.
Have a good day, all right?
Affectueusement
Nikki

Busy Night For Lissa-Hubby Must Have Been Working Late At The Emerald Maraboon Tavern & Motor Inn

Date: Tue, 26 Apr 2005 15:38:28 +1000 (EST)
From: "Nikkohlina" nikkohlina@yahoo.com.au
Subject: Just This
To:
You know, people are sick. I get this note in my mailbox that says this:
"Hey Nicole, R U servicing policemen now too? You R a busy (call) girl ! Can you fit me in somewhere?"

Nice, isn't it? I'm not a call girl, XXXX. I hope you know that.
I just needed to vent. Max is going to go NUTS.

I will email tomorrow. I am going to have a glass of wine right NOW.
Love Nik


Date: Tue, 26 Apr 2005 19:55:28 +1000 (EST)
From: "Nikkohlina" nikkohlina@yahoo.com.au
Subject: Oh Oh
To:
I'm in trouble with Max.I was upset and drank too much. Now I am not exactly sober and I feel sick from wine. That note is right. I'm just a tramp. You can't change people can you? I'm going to bed now before I throw up.


Date: Tue, 26 Apr 2005 20:00:44 +1000 (EST)
From: "Nikkohlina" nikkohlina@yahoo.com.au
To:
Sorry I am a disapointment. I can't stop crying. Max says I shoud go to bed.



Date: Tue, 26 Apr 2005 20:14:12 +1000 (EST)
From: "Max" maxnnikki@yahoo.com.au
Subject: Nikki
To:
Hello XXXX
I know Nikki just emailed you. I have carried her up to bed. She has had too much wine.She started drinking at 3:30 apparently, and has had a whole bottle.And she rarely drinks more than a glass or two.
My apologies for her emailing in case it caused worry. She is ok.Just a bit upset from a note she got today.
Regards
Max

Date: Wed, 27 Apr 2005 06:32:20 +1000 (EST)
From: "Nikkohlina" nikkohlina@yahoo.com.au
Subject: Good Morning
To:
Dearest XXXX
I am so ashamed of myself--emailing you when I had had far too much to drink. I am ashamed that I HAD too much to drink. I don't do things like that--honestly.
The note was not an email. It was a note in my mailbox at my gate. Hand delivered. Claire got one too--stating that I was after her husband. SO in the end I had to explain a few things about my past after all.She had rung me to ask me what all of it was about. How this person (and I suspect one of my ex's friends) knew that Tony was a police officer is beyond me--maybe he has seen him on the job or something.Maybe he saw us at dinner or at the yacht club or something, having lunch. I don't know. Maybe he is watching my house--who knows? My past is never ever going to leave me alone. At least Claire understood and is fine with things. At least I HOPE she is, and that I will hear from her again. I wasn't exactly sober when she rang. BUT I wasn't as bad as I was later. She rang after only about three small glasses of wine.
Well I am going to go have a shower. I feel ill this morning--never had a hangover before in my life. I think that is what this must be, even though I vomited a ton last night.
I am sorry if I worried you or made you ashamed of my behaviour. It won't happen again, I promise.
I will email later.
Affectueusement
Nikki

Date: Wed, 27 Apr 2005 09:45:49 +1000 (EST)
From: "Max" maxnnikki@yahoo.com.au
Subject: Re: Nikki
To:
Hello XXXX
I am at work now so have a chance to reply to this. I don't think these people will ever leave her alone. They like to remind her of things they did with her long long ago. I hope none of you take that into consideration and have judgement, because she did what she had to do in order to survive. I know it all still gives her nightmares. Being tied up and gagged and all of that would leave deep emotional wounds that really will never heal.
Safe? Well, I don't know to be honest. I just do the best I can to keep her close and as safe as humanly possible. I think she is reasonably safe, yes. But nothing is for certain in this life. Security at the house is good, as long as she doesn't get lax about it. It will work if it is all engaged.
I am going to knock off work early today and go home to her.
Regards
Max

Reckon the children were left once again to fend for themselves-Lissa couldn't be bothered with homework and or preparing dinner-SHAME ON HER

To All The Loyal Readers In Emerald Queensland-Here is more proof of Lissa's madness

Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2005 05:56:15 +1000 (EST)
From: "Julian Anderson" tinknjules@yahoo.com.au
Subject: Re: Thoughts
To: xxxxx
Hi xxxxx
I don't know if I got any rest.I doped myself up so much that I honestly can't tell if I dozed or not.I might have.I sat up all night last night with her so I know I was tired.
You mustn't think you let her down. I told her the same thing, because I honestly believed it.I should have paid more attention to the look in her eyes and maybe I wouldn't have been so quick to dismiss it as just a dream.
But please don't think you blew it.She loved you an awful lot and that would really tear her up if she thinks you think that.
I just wish I could have had some last words from her. She had all these tubes and couldn't speak.I knew she wanted Max because she kept pointing to her wedding ring. I keep thinking maybe I shouldn't have told her. Maybe my doing that killed her, even though the doctors said it was internal injuries.
Hearing a person sob with those tubes is gut wrenching and I can still hear it.
You know, all she wanted was someone to be with her in the end, and I had to go and get a damn coffee. If anyone let her down, it was me. She looked at peace when I sat with her, and all of the equipment was gone.
Yes thanks if I need help I'll ask, but I know what to do, and I know she didn't want a lot of fuss and bother. I'll take them home next week as planned. We won't miss our flight.I'm just glad it's a private plane.
I hope Liv isn't mad that I've turned off my mobile phone.I don't want to talk to anyone--I can't speak.I hope she understands.
I'm going to go and take some more sleeping pills and try and get through the night in this house.
Try and get some rest yourself tonight, ok? She's probably watching and tut-tutting if you're not.
Julian

This is the email I got right after she had Max and Nikki run down........