Dear XXXX
I am a horrible person, I think we've both decided that one.
I HONESTLY started to do all this to make you feel better, and you were, and that was making me happy. Believe it or not, I just wanted to see my friend happy.
It got so so out of hand that I had to try and end it, and god help me that made it a million times worse.
I know you hate me and I know you will never speak to me again, but I am so so sorry from the bottom of my heart.
I will send you money via paypal towards your medical bills just as soon as I get my next paycheque next week and I will continue to do so until you tell me not to.
I've told Dennis and he is really angry with me. I don't think I'll be using the computer much anymore. I'll be lucky if it even stays in the house.
I will see someone for help, I promise.
I don't know what I can say apart from I'm rotten.What kind of person does this to someone she loves probably more than her own sister? I never ever meant for it to get SO out of hand--I swear.
I promise I will give you all the money I earn towards your medical bill, but I know that can't erase what I have done.
I loved seeing you happy--it made me feel really good--for all the wrong reasons, I know. I was just trying to bring some happiness into your life because I know you weren't the happiest. I just did it in a really bad bad way.
I know I can't ask for forgiveness, but believe it or not I DO love you like a sister. I'm just completely horrible...a rotten human being that will surely rot in hell.
I can't even say I feel better I confessed to you (and I HAD to do it on the phone and not by email) because I know how much I have hurt you.
I will send you some money as soon as I get back from our week away. It won't be a nice week, that's for sure. It will be very heavy.
I just hope my kids don't find out what kind of mother they have. They don't deserve someone like me, that's for sure.
I'm sure someday I will get what I deserve, and I WILL deserve whatever I get. I know that.
I don't know what to write here anymore. I can't express in words how awful I feel, and I know you won't be able to express in words how angry and upset you are.
I am a pathetic human being. I know that for fact. I've always felt stupid, fat and useless, so I guess it was really nice for awhile to make someone else feel good about themselves. NO excuse I know, but it's fact.
Lissa
XXXX
You have NO CLUE...you basically ended my marriage and have put my kids through HELL. I
will never never understand WHY in the name of god you did or how the hell you kept up
with it all. I feel sorry for your family-YOU took precious time away from them..YOU NEED
SOME SERIOUS HELP...Why did you have to bring the whole GUN thing into and how were you
going to get out of it all.................the loss of hair-the smoking-and Jesus Christ
the phone calls!!!!!!! Does your husband know EVERYTHING you did-OMG you were Max Sasha
Liv Julian and last but not least Rach..oh forgot Joelle in France too.......HOLY CRAP I
believe that is criminal!!!
Lissa the Psycho Wrote:
I have told Dennis this morning and basically I'm pretty much in very deep water with him.
I WILL get some help--I told him I will get help.
Oh yes, my kids have suffered too. What the hell kind of mother am I? I feel like the scum of the earth that I am--believe me.
I hope I rot in hell. Simple as that. And I'm sure I will.
My compter usage will be monitored now, like a child, mainly using it at his work while he is there,and I deserve that...not that I plan to use it much besides for work anyway.
Like I said I pray my kids don't find out what a rotten horrible mother they have, and I hope they grow up a million times better than I am.
I've felt like walking away because I'm such a rotten parent, and never more so than right now.They'd probably be a million times better if I did--everyone would, I'm sure.
I've totally destroyed one of the very best things I had in my life--your friendship.
I know sorry doesn't cut it, but I AM---sorry beyond belief and sorrier than I have ever been for anything in my life.
XXXX
the attack
the ex husband going to jail
the men
the childhood
being followed
the letter
the woman talking about her
the story of having coffee
having cancer
the pills that I told "Max" about
the fact "she" said I was her daughter and "Max" knowing
Isabel
Suzanne telling her things
Marc coming on to her
OMG i could go on and on
IS ALL THIS MAKING YOU SICK?
HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD COULD YOU DO ANY OF THIS....I pity you I really do.
IM DONE
Lissa Psycho Wrote:
YES.YES.YES It makes me sick. I'm a total wretched idiot.I know that. I've totally made my life hell now, and yours as well.I know that.Sorry isn't enough, I know.
You will never speak to me again and I SO deserve that.I've lost my sister because I was insanely stupid.
I should not be allowed to live--I know that.I am a totally worthless human being.I know that. How I was going to end it, I don't know--I would have had to fess up eventually.
Libby WAS a someone. I didn't invent her.
When she left I guess I just tried to fill the void--in a very stupid, stupid way.I know that.
I've told Dennis everything. I am going to get some help--truly I am.
I am banned from any kind of online chats with anyone ever again. My computer time will be limited to where he can watch me.
I am basically under house arrest, and I totally deserve it.
On our return home, my computer will be "relocated" to Dennis' work so I can be supervised. I totally deserve that too.
That was the end..SHE DID INVENT LIBBY even when caught she was still not telling the truth. Her children must be miserable with that as a mother. What kind of mother is she?
