I don't have any answers at the moment.I don't know why I've done the things I've done. I've just spent 6 days being grilled and reprimanded and we are going to try to find out what went wrong with my head. What I was lacking in my life, and how I can get better.
For now, I'm pretty much barred from email in any other account but a joint one, so that I can be monitored. Same goes with phone calls. I deserve all I get dished out.
I'm a rotten horrible person and all I can say is how sorry I am, though I know that means nothing to you.
Somewhere along the line I cracked and lost it. My family life has been rotten but I haven't even noticed that. If I don't get my head straightened up, I will have nothing and nobody because I will be left.
I know you don't want to hear that I will get my head straightened and find out what's wrong with me, but I will.
I am a rotten mother to my kids, you're right. They truly don't deserve someone like me.
If I get into online chats again, I will lose my husband and kids, that is a definite. They've all I got now, so I have to get well in the head.
That will begin immediately.